Ever feel like everything is spiraling out of control? Like the only thing that actually responds to you the way you want it to is your TV remote, and lately even that is on the fritz?
How do you reign it all in?
The answer is simpler than you think…
Internal of External?
Your locus of control determines everything. Where you source your control is what governs how you live your life. According to psychology, those people who have allow their lives to be dictated by outside forces have an external locus of control. These people are all over the map. They are blown by the wind, allowing whatever happens on the outside to move their thoughts, their moods, their actions. Because these people allow themselves to be pushed around by external forces they constantly feel as if they are out of control. And they are.
Conversely, those with an internal locus of control are much more stable and steadfast. They understand that it is not what happens to them that determines how they respond, but how they choose to feel about it. The only thing you control in this life, aside from the temperature on your thermostat, is your ability to choose how to respond to external situations. What happens on the outside, happens to pretty much everyone. We all get sick. We all have bad days. The sun set on all of us last night. What differentiates these people is their ability to choose how to feel about, and respond to (if they do at all), the bad things that happen to them. They are in control.
In Japanese budo (martial arts), we have a very similar concept called, Fudoshin. Fudoshin means “immovable spirit”. Basically it says that the warrior maintains a calm in the very heart of the storm. He is not moved by external events and situations, but is able to bring his full capabilities to bear because of this immense mental and emotional stability. He is in control.
Does this mean that warriors are heartless, unfeeling people? No, not at all. Quite the opposite, actually. They feel anger, sadness, bitterness, regret, frustration, happiness, joy, ecstasy, and yes, even depression. But, they do not allow these emotions to rule their lives running them up and down like a roller coaster at Six Flags. They stay the course.
It’s very easy to allow outside events and circumstances to push us around and dictate the course of our lives. We’ve all experienced it and allowed it to happen at some point. The key is recognizing it and moving your locus of control back to inside yourself.
Do NOT Go With the Flow
People have all sorts of excuses and rationalizations for being swayed by every outside force. We even have a very philosophical, quasi-intelligent sounding way of putting it; we say – “go with the flow”. You’ve heard this, right? You’ve probably even said it to someone, I know I have. But here are 2 very important things to remember about why you should NOT go with the flow:
1) You cannot drift to the top. You’ll never achieve your goals and dreams by going with the flow.
2) Only dead bodies float downstream.
Remain steadfast, Warriors. Stay the course, my friends!!